Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A Man of Many Dicks

As one might imagine, after becoming part of the sex blogging community (and sex reviewers specifically) we have acquired quite a collection of sex toys. One of the many categories we expanded to, which prior we had not a single item of the like, is harness compatible dildos. The main reason was because we didn't own a harness and really had no reason to purchase one. We ended up purchasing a harness in order to try out pegging. (We still haven't ventured into that area yet.) In addition to this, we picked up the Tantus Acute and Rascal. The Acute is a slender dildo with a gentle curve for g\p-spot stimulation. The Rascal is a short yet thick dildo, with a slight curve and lots of ripply texture.

As one who is interested and has experimented with some fisting, I found myself in a curious position. Though I do indeed do a lot of stimulation for Sarah with my fingers and hands, I couldn't help feeling a little diminished by the girth of the Rascal. It measures 1.75 inches in diameter, which is 5.5 inches around. As one of the newest, though still awkward, parts of our relationship, I shared these feelings with my wife. Even though it makes no sense (which I admitted) seeing as how I have this fascination with trying to insert my entire hand into her pussy and making her squirm, I felt intimidated by this massive dildo. I think it has to do with the fact that my fingers and hands are still a part of me, where as the toy is a separate object. After talking about these feelings however, I felt them diminish. They were replaced by the feeling I normally get when she gets a new toy... Anticipation. I want to try it with her, use it on her, make her cum.

One of the biggest advantages we immediately noticed with a harness was how natural it felt. I've been using dildos and vibrators on her for quite some time now, but I rarely find an angle that is comfortable for both me and her. Many times, we just switched toys or did without. The harness solves such issues by positioning the dildo in a natural place, anchoring it but allowing it to give and pivot with the motions of your bodies.

The first dildo we tried with our harness was the Acute. I had used it manually before and while she enjoyed it, the experience was totally on another level with the harness. This was my first experience using a harness as well. Awkward at first, those feelings quickly melted away as I became more attuned to her needs. Grinding my hips into hers, feeling the tugs on the dildo as it rocked against me and plunged between her lips. Her fingers gripping the straps and pulling me harder into her, feeling the same heat and passion, the same intense arousal as if I were using my own cock. Her breasts squeezed under my body and her lips locked on mine and I can feel her body shake as she moans in release... Yes, using a harness is so much better than just playing with a dildo. It allows you to stay connected with your partner through touch, kiss, through skin and sound.

The Acute introduced me to how enjoyable a harness could be, but I still had to overcome my hurdle. A separate night, we tried out the Rascal. We teased each other and kissed each other, giving her an opportunity to get worked up. I tested her with my fingers, rubbing her gspot gently and slowly adding pressure. Her appreciative moans let me know she was ready. Making sure there was plenty of lube on the Rascal (it's a big dildo and woah! at the texture) I slowly eased it inside her. That first initial gasp of excitement, her eyes rolling back showed me just how much she enjoyed it and how it filled her inside.

How did that make me feel? I loved it. I love seeing her enjoying herself, whether she's playing with a toy by herself or squirting all over my chest. I release a satisfied sigh of relief and kissed her breasts and neck, holding her as we worked the Rascal between us, slow and steady. The intense texture and fullness gave her a great orgasm in short order and quickly sold me on both harnesses and dildos.

I'm a pretty average guy with an average cock. I'm not concerned about my size, hell, my hands have proven much more versatile tools than my cock. I encourage men to let go of those feelings of self-doubt. I can't bend my cock in a curve or add ridges to it (without piercings that I am soooo not getting) but I can use a dildo that has a stimulating texture or a juicy little curve to it. I'm glad that we've been able to nurture our relationship so that we can find out what we both really enjoy, even if they make us a little uncomfortable at first. I would not miss any chance to make her happy... yet another lesson that communication is key in any and every aspect of a relationship.


sarahbear said...

It was hard to pinpoint it, but I think that's what was missing when we first started expanding our toy collection. When you used toys on me I lost that close feeling we had just begun to renew. The harnesses have definitely improved my opinion of sex toys. =)

Anonymous said...

Awesome post! I was just (and still am, currently) in the middle of writing a post on why dildos are useful in partnered sex. I'm currently in a heterosexual relationship and never thought of putting a harness on my guy. You've definitely piqued my interest, and if I can get my hands on a harness I'll see if I can't get him to give it a try.

You mentioned some of the dildos you've used, but not the harnesses. Which one(s) have you found work best as a male-bodied wearer?

(This is EffinSara from http://effinaweso.me, by the way. I'm hopeful that my post on dildos will be up within the hour!)

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