Tuesday, January 26, 2010

TMI Tuesday!

1. When you masturbate, how long, typically, is your session and what do you think about (other than having an orgasm)? Normally about 5-10 minutes, however I have drawn it out over an hour before.

2. Have you ever been "caught" masturbating? Once, long ago, by my parents.
3. Have you ever masturbated in front of your computer? If 'yes' was it for your own purposes or for someone's viewing pleasure? Yes, frequently. For both purposes. =p
4. Have you ever attended a group masturbation party? Same-sex or mixed? No, never.
5. When masturbating, as you reach orgasm, do you continue to stimulate yourself without interruption, or do you stop and apply pressure until your spasms subside? Or? Both, it just depends on my mood.

Bonus (as in optional): How often do you use the word "fuck" (or its derivatives) in casual conversation - frequently, occasionally, rarely, never: Occasionally. It use to be constantly, but I'm getting better at culling my curses. =)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Journey to the G-Spot

Over the past few months, my wife and I have been on a journey of discovery with each other. Imagine you were making love for the first time again. That’s what it felt like for us. It was an amazing time for us and we made the most of it. We spent nights in each other’s arms, talking, kissing, exploring. We talked about what we liked, what turned us on, everything. It was exciting for her to finally be able to open up to me like that.

One of the things we both had an interest in was finding her g-spot. Thus began about a month long journey of research: reading articles, watching videos, and buying different toys. All of the information was helpful in some way, though somewhat repetitive. For those unfamiliar with this, I’ll do a little recap here of some key points. I’ll also describe my own experiences with this, as it is most definitely a trial and error process.

Tips for G-Spot Massage by Hand
1) Keep nails clean, trimmed, and filed. Nothing will turn off a good feeling like a jagged nail in the twat!
2) Don’t jump right to it! Not only is it easier to feel, it feels better if you’re aroused.
3) Use lube. I prefer water-based for this and silicone for sex. It’s all preference, but you want a good thick lube that has some staying power.
4) The classic form is to gesture a “come here” motion inside of her. I would recommend doing this and stopping when you reach the pelvic wall. Some may find this spot further inside or less so… It varies from person to person. Apply slow and steady pressure and listen to your partner. It should feel good and
may give her the sensation she has to pee. This is *completely* normal. Trust me, it is not pee. The biggest hurdle we found was getting her to relax since that feeling prompts and instinct to do the opposite.
5) Once you have identified this spot, play around with it. Apply pressure, slow at first, then harder. Rub in small circles.. Back and forth.. Up and down. Watch your partner and see what she likes. I’ve found slow and deep pressure to be the way to go. I also recommend imagining you are tapping on that inner wall. Increase the speed, pressure and\or number of fingers as desired.

We originally started experimenting with her lying on her back. We had her legs propped up with pillows to the side so she could completely relax. I started using that classic method with two fingers, slipping them slowly inside her wet lips and stroking her inside, pressing softly on the warm muscle inside. I stroked in small circles to cover more area and it wasn’t long before she felt that apprehensive sensation of having to use the bathroom… So we stopped and she did. We continued. This went on for a week or so and as she got use to that sensation she was able to relax more.

One night, we’re trying to do this again using the same method. This time I was just applying pressure to her g-spot, slowly pulling my fingers back towards me and increasing the pressure with each pull. I could feel her pussy tightening around my fingers as she voiced her pleasure. Her moans were beautiful and it took a lot of control not to lose my concentration and keep my rhythm. That’s when it happened.

I kept it up and soon I felt her swelling inside, the muscles and glands contracting and filling so that I felt pressure on the top of my knuckles. I flicked my fingers back, pressing against her and truly making a vigorous “come here” motion. Her voice cracked and her legs shook as a small amount of clear liquid squirted all over the bed. Such a small amount, but such a huge victory for us.

We then made it a goal each night to press onward, determined to see this through. Finally one night, we tried this same technique with her in a doggie style position. One of the biggest issues we faced with her lying on her back was that the motions I need to make with my fingers were hard to maintain, especially with her pussy clamping down like it did. I started the same way I had before, but it was easier this time. I worked her up and I could tell by the way she felt inside she was getting close to an orgasm, but my fingers were still tiring. I curled my fingers around to rub her g-spot and slid them out, then in, like a dildo, but way better. I was in control and could add more pressure or curve as needed.

She bit the pillow, sheets balled up in her hands, her moans loud even through the fabric. I add a third finger and her pleasure intensifies. I add more pressure and she is on the edge of bliss. I stop thrusting and flick my fingers back and forth, feeling her pussy clenching around my digits. Her voice drops an octave as she comes all over me, her warm juices spraying across my chest and dripping down my arm. I am hooked. I have never been more turned on giving her pleasure than at that moment and the sight, sound, and feel of her climaxing was amazing.

We have enjoyed numerous sessions since that night and it remains one of my favorite things to do in the bedroom. We have purchased several toys to use for g-spot play, but none have been able to bring her to the edge the way I can. I kind of like it that way, to be honest. =)

Any of you exploring this area, I have one word for you: patience. It may take you some time to learn what gets you off, but it is most definitely worth it.
Monday, January 18, 2010

Spanking Good!

One of the more exciting things to enter our bedroom has been a leather paddle. Of all the toys we've reviewed so far, I personally got the most enjoyment from this one shiny, red article. We warmed up to this point kind of slowly. She used the paddle on me first, which was a good idea. In that past, it was rare that she took a more dominant role during sex. It has always been a huge turn on for me when she does.

We incorporated the whole Kink Set we received from Babeland. Wrists bound by supple leather cuffs, my eyes closed by the stylishly comfy blindfold, she had me at her whim. The most intoxicating part of it for me was the anticipation. The build up of tension as you prepare for the next strike, the quick flash of pain.. the rush of pleasure as your skin tingles, sending a shiver up your spine. She never hit me too hard and I never knew when or where the next slap might come. Having her tease and tempt me was one of the most erotic experiences of my life.

We took a break after that night and oh how I itched to get my turn. I think she was nervous about it, but it took us about a week to get back in the mood for that kind of play again. I admired her in the red leather, the sharp contrast against her pale skin was striking and beautiful. I teased her, sliding the paddle against her skin so she could feel the smooth leather.. then a quick flick of the wrist. That sound! A crisp slap, her body arching slightly under the blow. I check to see if she's okay since this is her first time feeling this (and my first time performing as well). Another one, harder, full on the curve of her ass. A low moan issues forth and I am fully aroused. I treat her to the same experiences she showed me and let her indulge in the tingly sensations spreading across her flesh. It was a great night.

I'm looking forward to advancing further down this road. Some additional restraints, a flogger, maybe some different materials and textures. Anyone looking to endeavor into any kind of restraint or pain fetish should observe the basic tenants of safety. Never do anything your partner is not comfortable with and be clear and concise on what that is; communication is very key to making this experience enjoyable to both parties.

Source for photo here.
Friday, January 15, 2010

A New Beginning

For the majority of our marriage, my wife and I have enjoyed vanilla sex. We experimented with massage oils and some Kama Sutra techniques. We watched some porn and she bought some pretty standard vibrators and we incorporated them into our play from time to time. Recently, however, we went through some pretty painful experiences involving affairs on both our parts. This is some of the most awful memories both of us share together, but a very special thing happened during the aftermath.

We realized how important we were to each other, how much we really needed each other and how little time, intimacy and effort we had been putting into our relationship. I try to be more open with her about what I want and what I need and do my best to fulfill her needs as well. We have pretty similar interests once we took the time to talk to each other about them. The first months after the affairs, we spent most nights just reconnecting. Talking and holding each other, just feeling close. No television, no music, no distractions. This lead to feeling closer than either of us had felt in a very long time and some slow, sensual lovemaking.

Each time we were together was like a new discovery. I was taking the time to truly enjoy and appreciate her body. Every curve, every moan and whimper was exciting, enthralling. She was just as attentive. She treated me like I was a new toy, freshly unwrapped. Her hands hugged my flesh, caressing my skin with an interest I had been longing for. Her lips sucked on mine, her teeth nipped at my neck. She was everything I needed.

Since then our interests have grown and expanded together in several different areas. After much study and patience, I learned where her G-spot was and how to make her squirt. I’ll talk about this more later, but it was one of the most exciting things we’ve ever done in the bedroom. We accumulated some more toys as well as a few restraints and a paddle. We quickly put those to good use and they are easily some of my favorites. More importantly, we continued to get closer and more comfortable with each other. That may sound strange after being with someone for over 8 years, but it is true.

I still have my bad days, when I get reminded of what happened. She still has her days, too. My affair was more recent than hers, so she had more trouble than me at first. She talks to me about it; I do my best to be patient and help her in any way I can.

We’ve come a long way together and though the last road we took was dark and twisty, I have never felt closer and more connected to her than I do now. She completes and fulfills me in a way I never thought possible. I cannot wait to see what’s next for us.