Sunday, May 30, 2010

What's in your Erotica?

I was reading through some free submission erotica on a few websites recently and I discovered something. I really kind of hate erotica plot. Most of the erotica I have written are short scenes that give you the briefest of backgrounds so you know just what's going on before things start heating up, as shown in my most recent post The Sitter. However, I'm interested and looking forward to writing longer stories, at least a full-length short story or novella. To do so, your story can't be all sex (unless its merely a series of short shorts) and must have some plot holding it together.

I'm going to do some more perusing, but thus far I have come across mind-jarring dialogue such as...

“What doest thou mean to do with me, defile me? I only wish to be taken to York, for I have an uncle there. He will pay you if thou help me, but not if thou savage me.”

I realize this is akin to me disliking a porn for its script, however, when I read something I expect more... Not being a published author of any kind, I don't have much room to talk but for my personal preference. However, if I ever write something like this... someone... please tell me.

Do you like plot in your porn? In your erotica? Can you stomach badly written or scripted material?

The story I intend to write should be just as engrossing as a creative work as it is as a sexual work. I guess that's my point in this rant. I need sleep.
Friday, May 28, 2010

The Sitter

"Welcome back, Mrs. Jones. Did you guys have fun?" Claudia finished washing the few dishes from supper as the couple came in the door.

"Oh, it was all right. Too much blood and gore for me. I picked the restaurant so David chose the movie. The lobster was worth the explosions." Mrs. Jones was in her thirties, a plump woman with dark brown hair. Her green eyes sparkled as she laughed.

"The explosions were worth the lobster, you mean. Swarm is definitely worth seeing. You should check it out." Mr. Jones came in shaking water from his black umbrella. He was barely older than his wife, though he had flecks of silver in his short black hair and goatee.

Claudia bid goodnight to the Jones' as they settled in for the evening. The three kids were already tucked in and snoozing soundly upstairs. They always paid her upfront so there was really no use in lingering around. Of her clients, this couple was her favorite to babysit for. They paid well, their house was nice and they didn't stay out all night. She still had time to go home and study or watch some television before bed. She slipped out the door into the cool rain.

The slow drizzle turned into a downpour as she approached her car, the fat drops plastering her short auburn hair to her face and soaking through her t-shirt. The wet fabric clung to her skin, hugging her breasts. She had forgotten her bra in the rush to class this morning and her nipples were poking through her shirt. She finally reached her car, scrambling for the keys to get a reprieve from the weather.

Shit! I left the keys on the counter in the kitchen.

She ran as fast as she dared across the slick grass and dashed inside without knocking. The storm increased its assault, the rain coming down in sheets as she shut the door. She walked into the kitchen, retrieving the keys and peeking out the window. She couldn't see more than a few feet outside before her vision was blinded by the curtain of rainfall. Claudia sighed and retrieved a towel from the laundry room, drying her hair and body as best she could while she waited for the storm to ebb. She let her mind wander as she stared out at the rain.


The sharp sound of a slap startled Claudia out of her daze. A muffled cry came from the Jones' bedroom. Her hands stopped toweling her hair as she eased forward, nerves on end. She shouldn't be doing this. It was none of her business, but she couldn't stop herself. She had to at least check on Mrs. Jones before she left. If things were bad, she'd leave and call the police. Claudia eased up to the bedroom door and cracked it open to peek inside.

Mrs. Jones was naked, lashed to their giant bed with leather straps. She was on her knees, her ass in the air. She was a full figured woman, her hips curvaceous and her breasts large and beautiful. Her husband knelt behind her, stripped down to his waist. His chest was smooth and tanned by the sun. His dark brown eyes had a hungry look in them and he drank up the vision of his lover before him, his hands tracing the curve of her hips. He walked his fingers slowly up the small of her back, her ass arching towards him at the touch. Claudia felt her face heat at catching the couple in such an intimate way.


A black leather paddle slapped against her ass, making a crisp sound as it marked her flesh with a pink flourish. A soft moan escaped her lips and she bit the bottom one as she savored the flash of pleasure. Mr. Jones tickled and teased down her back, letting the soft tassels hanging from the handle of his paddle caress her silky skin. He let them drop between her thighs and gently swung them against her lips. She let out a sigh as they brushed against her pussy.


The leather kissed her on her thigh and her whole body shivered at its touch. Mrs. Jones wiggled her ass and rubbed her pussy against her husband.

"How long are you going to make me wait?"

His answer came in the form of another stinging blow. Mrs. Jones' face flushed with pleasure as another moan left her lips. Crack! She shivered under the wave of sensations, that perfect mixture of pleasure and pain. Crack! He was swinging harder, she was moaning louder. Crack! Her ass and thighs were splotchy from the bite of leather, her legs shaking from excitement and bliss.

Claudia slid to her knees as she watched the lovers engaged, her own cheeks flushed as her hands slid under her skirt between her wet thighs, pulling her drenched panties aside so her eager fingers could find her swollen clit. She bit her cheek to hold in the sound as she ground herself against her hand, holding herself up with the other hand as she peeked in at the couple. She closed her eyes as she massaged herself, squeezing her lips and rubbing her cunt, her hand slick with her own hot juices. A gasp slipped out as she stroked hard against her throbbing clit and her eyes popped open in surprise.

The Jones' were too engaged to notice. Mr. Jones was gripping the seductive curve of his wife's hips, pulling her ass into his thrusts. Her cunt was soaked, even from across the room Claudia could hear the wet sounds of passion as he fucked her from behind. Mrs. Jones tore at the sheets with her hands and moaned as she arched into his plunging hips, her ass slapping against his thighs. Claudia sat back against the wall and spread her thighs, leaning her head against the door jam as she fingered herself. She arched her hips against her hands, fingers working furiously. Stroke and rub, grind and tug, slip in and out of that dripping wet cunt.

"I'm coming! Ohh, fuck me David!" The low, blissful moan that followed sent Claudia over the edge. She was too shaken by her own orgasm to hear Mr. Jones deep moans of ecstasy. It just kept coming and coming, wave after wave washing over her and sweeping her away. Her hands moved by themselves, she couldn't stop herself if she tried. Finally, she drifted down back to reality, her hands slick and wet, still massaging her pussy in front of her client's door. She blinked her eyes open and peeked back into the bedroom.

Oh hell! He's coming this way!

Mr. Jones was coming towards her! She clambered to her feet and rushed out the door, not bothering to even shut it on the way out. She didn't know if they had seen her, but she knew that would be the last time she saw them.
Friday, May 28, 2010

Featured Game: Swapper Lingerie

One of my guilty pleasures is hentai. Hentai movies, hentai games, hentai pictures.. I've always had a thing for them, hentai games especially. Below is a puzzle game - a slider puzzle featuring some nice hentai shots that gets progressively harder. I like the puzzle games because while your trying to figure out how to put it all back together, you begin to realize what the picture is... at least on some of the harder ones. The earlier ones are rather easy. =p
Note: This game was linked from Games of Desire, however I would spare you some of their spam and ads.

Enjoy the game!
Thursday, May 27, 2010

Pussy Prejudice?

This came across my twit-prompter courtesy of Britni and as it was centered around Liberator, I had to check it out. The blog is an article written about how disgusting and awful it is to be surprised by a woman's pussy. He uses derogatory language and terms such as "sushi queen" to point out things he finds offensive, which include larger labia lips, pubic hair, scent and\or flavor. What the hell? This guy gets laid?

He refers to himself as a "love artist" which totally makes me think of Mystery (that strange guy who thought fuzzy hats and binoculars were accessories) but shows very quickly that he doesn't know a thing about women. He criticizes things that are very natural on any woman and tries to justify himself by saying "Yeah, guys should clean their penis too." The things he says are the equivalent to a woman laughing at him because his cock is too small, or curved, or his balls are too big. Maybe his cum is too salty and makes the girl puke all over his crotch (not that he totally wouldn't deserve it.)

Another major flaw in his 'love art' is he seems wholly focused on what he wants or what he thinks she wants. Rather than trying to be so suave, he should be focusing on her needs, her wants, and talking to her about what she likes. Of course, I am expecting entirely too much from someone who would think less of a woman because her labia are too long.

I left a comment on the blog itself and encourage others to do so. It's still being moderated at the moment, I doubt they'll even post it. I'm also annoyed that Liberator allowed such a post to be put up on their website. It has marred their reputation, that's for sure.

Update: Apparently, everyone's reaction to the blog post got it quickly pulled by Liberator. As it should be. Most of the important parts can still be seen on Britni's post here.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Tenga, Tenga, Tenga!

(Imagine that title chanted to a beat for the full effect)

Seems like every time I review something, it's for my wife's blog. I'll have to get some stuff on my own to review so I can get more credibility on my own site, jeez. Anyway, to the topic at hand! I'm a huge fan of self-lovin. I've been doing it ever since my balls dropped, hell probably before. That first experience was life changing. It has been my most consistent habit and vice, a constant source of joy and stress relief.

Ironically, after I'm married to a woman who can satisfy every need, every want, every desire I have... I am introduced to the world of masturbation sleeves... and in the world of male masturbation, Tenga is king. I'm a huge fan of this company and their products. I've tried several varieties and even modified some of them to be more enjoyable for my own personal tastes.

First is the Tenga Egg - the version I received was the Twister. It's a soft silicone cup with textured insides. It's easy to use, easy to clean. All you do is fill it up with lube and slide it over your cock. What you do, how you do it is up to you. Everyone has their own technique, whether its a standard up and down motion, squeezing and pulling, rubbing the tip or whatever! This particular egg is designed to add a stimulating sensation when spun around your cock. I found it worked best by putting your palms on the cup and rubbing them back and forth as if you were to try to start a fire with your penis. The swirling ridges inside the cup feel amazing. It's reusable as long as the material holds out and is fairly durable. It has a LOT of stretch to it so I'm sure it will fit most any guy, not matter how big they think they are.

Next is the Tenga Double Hole. This little treat is a great for someone who wants to try out some of the more advanced technologies from Tenga, without splurging for the Tenga Flip. It features two entry points to two completely separate sleeves which have unique textures, ridges and bumps to rock your world. It's a pre-lubricated toy and is meant for single use only. The variance in texture and tightness is noticeable and very enjoyable and by removing the liner from the cup itself, it can be reused as long as its maintained and cleaned.

Last but ohhh not least! The Tenga Flip Hole! This badass little toy that looks like a gadget out of Star Wars is definitely the next step in masturbation for men. It features some of the most intriguing and stimulating textures of any masturbater I have seen, it's reusable, easy to clean, and probably the most awesome thing is that it allows you to enhance and change your experience by squeezing on different parts of the toy, adding more pressure and suction to your eager cock. It's got a cool design and at a glance does not even look like a sex toy. Well worth the money for any fan of self-love.

Want more information? See my detailed account as I guest reviewed these products on Sexy by Sarah.
Sarahbear's review for the Tenga Egg, my review for the Tenga Double Hole, and my review for the Tenga Flip Hole.

Enjoy guys and happy humping!
Sunday, May 23, 2010

Japanese people don't look at porn?

I imagine that any survey centered around sex would get inconclusive answers, no matter what continent you are on. Even in America, we would not get truly accurate results. People keep their secrets close, even anonymously. However, something as innocent as watching porn? I can own up to that one.

Granted, this is a rather small survey (only 1,000 people, of which only 741 qualified) but even so... Let's look at some of these statistics.

2.8% of men look at porn, while 6.6% of women look at porn? Those lying assholes. I bet that's gel you used to spike up that hair, too.

77% of women had their nipples stimulated, but only 34% of men had any nipple stimulation. Poor bastards. They don't know what they are missing.

Finally, both sexes average 10% in any consumption of alcohol... Keep in mind this is a yearly survey, though the age range is 16-59 and I am not sure what the legal drinking age is in Japan.

Here's the graph for reference, some interesting information. If we were to have such a survey, I wonder what it would say? Are we freakier than the Japanese? I wonder. (Click to enlarge!)

Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Voyage

Fingers wrapped in silk, my eyes drink you in
A vision from behind, like moonlight on the water.
Your curves call to me, like a sea yet traveled
Though I know these routes best of all.

Your warmth envelops me and the sound of you
Makes it hard to control myself, a ship with full sails.
Rocked back and forth on the waves of your passion,
I hold on tight and ride the tide, waiting for the break.

The storm ends and leaves me worn and weary,
For what man can truly tame this raging sea?
Friday, May 21, 2010

New site, new goals!

Wow! I haven't posted anything in quite some time. Chalk it up to being pretty busy with work and just not feeling like writing anything at all. I spent all day revamping my sites. They are just about how I want them now.

The purpose for all this is I intend to write and publish erotica. Whether this is myself in eBook form or through a legitimate publisher, time will tell. I want to start hosting some erotica on my site as well. I got more ideas bouncing around but I'm drained at the moment. Mainly, just letting everyone know that I have indeed returned to the keyboard! =p