Monday, June 07, 2010

My Pleasure...

is your pleasure. Or her pleasure, rather, since I am not having sex with the vast majority of you (your loss here =p).  Of course this attitude extends well past the sexual. Recently, I read a post on monogamy that defines it as a commitment to the personal growth of your partner and not simply a vow of not sleeping around. I've already voiced how much I agree with that post, but I also want to embellish a bit on my own. I strive to make my wife happy, not just content... for us not to be complacent but to move forward in that happiness. Each day, the challenge is "What can I do to make her day better?" Not just on the bad days or the sad days, but on normal average days or even great days. What can I do to make my partner's day richer, fuller, funner?

I admit that I cannot take this approach every day, but it is a mindset that anyone in a monogamous relationship should adopt to some extent. Both partners, striving for the other's growth and happiness creates a powerful reciprocating effect that can lead to true joy and a lasting commitment.

This outlook may seem jaded to some. I am not so inexperienced or naive to think that our lives are always filled with sunny days and mind-blowing sex. Relationships are challenging, even when it's just your personal relationship with yourself. If you aren't right with you, how can you relate and embrace other people? It only gets far more complicated. At the same time, that's part of what makes these bonds so awesome and strong. Sarah is not just my lover, not just someone to help with household duties and parenting. She is my best friend, my staunchest supporter in whatever I do and the person that keeps me in check when I think entirely too much of myself. (happens frequently..) Together, we've dealt with things I never thought I could handle and we've talked through issues from our childhood and helped each other come to terms with traumatic experiences.

That's what it means to committed to someone. You help each other cope with the pains of life, share in the joys of love and challenge and encourage each other to grow as a person and as a couple.


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