A Picture of Lust

She was stunning.

Her porcelain skin was a sharp contrast to the black sheets. Brown hair in curls, they dangled deliciously down her shoulders like rivulets of rich coffee. Lying on her side, innocently nibbling a single finger, her green eyes watched me watching her. It was hard to stay focused. Still, she was a client and I would not cross that line.

I dipped my brush, studying her skin intently. Mixing and dabbing, I quickly came to the tint I wanted and made several shades across my palette. I started at her shoulder, like a lover kissing that soft curve. My brush an extension of my hand, her flesh blossomed onto the canvas under me. The arch of her neck and the subtle grace of her jawline. Her sumptuous lips, a deep red that spoke of lust and passion. That tangle of brown, thick and full... those deep emerald oceans, drawing me in... I lost myself for a few moments, simply gazing at her, wanting her, needing her.

The brush nearly slipped from my fingers and I caught myself. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and focused again. A lighter shade now, some here, some there.. blending to get the shadows and depth of her cleavage, her full breasts becoming softer beneath my hands. I traced those curves, trying to do her justice, to lock in the lust I felt on canvas. I moved lower, the graceful curve of her waist, the rise and fall of her hips. Her other arm was stretched between her legs, her hand covering her pussy. No, not covering.

Rubbing.


My already hard cock throbbed inside my pants. Her hand moved slowly, almost as if I were imagining it. Her fingers glistened slightly and the faintest bit of color was in her pale cheeks. I steadied myself with a breath and continued. Focusing intently on her hand, though impossible to capture that wicked motion that taunted and tempted me, I put what I could on canvas. Her arm stretched as if reaching for a lover, fingers massaging the pink folds of her dripping cunt. I added color to her cheeks and a little sheen to her skin as she began to sweat. I fleshed out her thighs, smooth, luscious, inviting. The curve of her calves and ankles, her feet lost in the tangle of sheets.

Finished with the wondrous and agonizing task of painting her, I breezed through the sheets, only half looking at the canvas as her hand began rubbing more rapidly, her hips moving slightly with the effort. She was breathing louder, heavier, a panting. I signed the bottom of the painting and watched intently, my cock almost painfully throbbing now. Her voice rose and she lost the pose, her neck and back arching as she moaned in release.

"Are you done?" Her voice seemed slightly annoyed.

"What?" I jumped slightly and looked away, startled at the sudden change.

She was sitting up, legs crossed. I looked back at the painting, it's canvas only half done and a distinctly vivid error where my brush had wandered in my now obvious reverie.

"No, I'm sorry. Can you give me a moment? I need a short break."

She looked even more annoyed. That was fine. I went to the bathroom and finished my fantasy and came in that pouty little mouth.

Pleasurists #82

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Tantus Big Flirt Plug

I've been exploring various anal toys for a while now, from plugs to beads to pegging. While I have yet to find anything I truly love, I've been pleased with the experience and keep looking for more ways to add and enhance this experience. I was offered the Big Flirt for review by the wonderful folks at Babeland and had to take them up on their offer. I already had some experience with smaller plugs and this was just the thing to move me up a notch.

It arrived in its plastic Tantus box, folded neatly together and inisde a clear clamshell. I got the black one though it also comes in purple and orange. Like all Tantus products, the Flirt is made of 100% premium silicone. It has a glossy finish and a smooth surface for easy entry. It's firm but pliable and moderately squishy. It's just shy of 5 1/2 inches long, with 4 1/2 inches insertable. The Flirt is 2 3/8 inches at insertion and widens to a nice 4 inch circumference at it's widest point. Made from such high quality silicone, this toy can be cleaned easily with toy cleaner, a mild soap, boiling, or bleaching.

My only other plug, the Bootie, is significantly smaller and can be worn during sex or daily activities. This is not the case with the Flirt. Though it has an appropriately flared base to keep it from being swallowed by your hungry rectum, it is not only hard to keep in, it is a bit uncomfortable to wear when fully inserted due to the round base. However, during use this toy performs very well, the smooth silicone glides in easily and slowly relaxes and stretches you out, giving you some nice sensations as well as preparing you for more and\or larger toys.

One of my favorite tricks to do with butt plugs is to apply a vibrator to the base for added pleasure and since my wife recently acquired a Mystic Wand, that is what I used. The silicone conducts the vibes well, though the tip is small and has no curve to get those feelings where I want them. It does feel ah-mazing as it pulses through the base, though.

I was pleased with this butt plug and plan on using it more in the future so we can experiment more with pegging and see how we both enjoy that. I would recommend this for anyone looking for something a little larger than a starter plug or if you want to jump right in, it could be used as a beginner's toy. Just be patient, go slow and if you don't want it all, don't use it all.

If this interests you or you're looking for something else, check out the great selection of toys over at Babeland!

Stuff of Substance

I was introduced to substance abuse at the age of nine. Though my dad drinks, he rarely did so. My mother smoked cigarettes for 30 years before finally quitting when I was about twelve. She was on anti-depressants and nerve pills for a while, but I was too young to remember those days. I was blessed with parents who were not strung out, were not abusive. My brother and I were raised by caring parents in a relatively peaceful home environment.

My brother(we'll call him J) started "huffing" when he was 15. For those unfamiliar, huffing is inhaling the fumes of a substance to get high. Paint thinner. Butane. My brother was soaking a rag in gasoline and putting it in a brown paper sack to inhale. My dad found out and they came to blows. Dad kicked him out. Minutes later my father drove down the road and picked him up. He immediately enrolled him in a rehabilitation clinic to try to help him clean up. In hindsight, my dad has reflected that if he had not tried to be so 'understanding' and just beat his ass for screwing up, maybe things would have wound up differently. I honestly do not think it would have mattered.

After being released from his rehabilitation program, he fell into the same type of crowd. Now he was smoking marijuana, doing mushrooms and acid. This went on for a couple years. When he was 17, my brother's best friend (called M) was shot in a bar fight. Everyone had been drinking, there was an argument. The other guy went to his truck, got a shotgun and blasted M in the leg. J and his friends piled into a pickup and he held his friend's leg in his arms as tight as he could, adding pressure to try to stop the bleeding. By the time they arrived at the hospital, he had lost too much blood. He died soon after.

I know how traumatic this experience was for him. I saw how much it hurt him, how it tore his world apart. I also saw how he dealt with it... or the lack thereof. For nearly the past 20 years my brother has been on one drug or another. He has done cocaine, heroin, LSD, crystal meth, ecstasy, mushrooms, and probably more drugs than I know the name of. He has been in and out of jail, in and out of rehab. My parents have fought for him, cried for him, cried over him. My mother's nerves are shot, she's back on meds. My dad has eleven stints in his heart from stress and is ineligible for a bypass. Of my brother's high school circle of friends... five of seven are dead from drug-related incidents.. two committed suicide.

Currently, he is on methadone... a legal treatment for his addiction to oxycontin. Why they call this a treatment, I don't know... He's been on it for years now and the purpose, I thought, was to ween them off of this crap. Apparently, they listen to him when he says he needs to up his dosage. Of course, the reason they do that is money. There's no money in breaking someone from their substance abuse. They'll stop paying you.

That's not the only thing he does. He still does other drugs, plus his methadone. I've stopped talking to him. I see him at holidays, but otherwise I can't stand to be around him. Not because I don't love him or even that I get disgusted by the things he does. It's because I knew him when he was clean. Not only before he started, but he was clean for 2 years before relapsing. That man was my brother. We hung out, played games, went fishing, whatever. When he is medicated or high, he is fidgety, agitated, aggressive. Oblivious to others around him. His lifestyle lost him his marriage and it constantly upsets his two children who now live between mom and dad. No one breaks promises like an addict.

I know he has a problem. We have tried helping him, for years.. and years.. and years. The only person that can help J is himself now. Several people I know in real life, as well as people I blog and tweet with talk about substances they use. I myself drink liquor on occasion. I try hard not to judge people for illegal substance abuse, but given my past exposure to it and the giant gaping hole it ripped into my family... I find it difficult. I have never touched an illegal substance. I do not say this to brag. It's not a badge of honor for me. It's the side-effect of trauma wound... of having a person I love taken from me. He may still be alive, but he's not the man he was or the man he could have been. He was sober for 2 years after being released from a detention center. Those years were some of the best memories I have of him.

Why do people do this to themselves? To their friends and family? It comes down to selfishness. It's my body, it's my life. I'll do what I want to, don't you dare tell me what I can and can't do. It feels good, it's fun. All my friends do it, everyone I know does it!

Maybe it's time you change friends. Maybe it's time you change lifestyles. Do not be so naive or self-absorbed and think that your actions and what you do only concern you and your little universe. People care about you. Some look up to you. Some depend on you. The only thing that hurts more than hurting someone you love... is knowing that you did.

You can't consent to THAT!

While browsing the interwebs, I ran across this article about a man in Sweden being charged for assault for being in a BDSM relationship. The defendant is a 32 year-old man, his partner a 16 year-old girl. (The consenting age in Sweden is 15, apparently.) A relative noticed bruises on the girl and reported it to the police.

"The prosecutor, Ulrika Rogland, has ruled out rape as the parties are accepted to have consented to their sexual liaison. But the court is set to rule on the issue of where the legal limits lie with regards to violence inflicted on another human being, even if they agree to it." 

 While I understand the reaction from the girl's relative (though extreme), the proper recourse would be to talk to the girl about her relationship with the defendant. Still, at such a young age it was probably more of a "I know what's best for you" attitude. I'm trying not to freak out about the girl's age, as it is a cultural difference, but I just don't see what the hell a 32-year old man is doing with someone so young.

Aside from that, what the court is trying to establish could begin a dangerous precedent on what you are allowed to do in your own bedroom... and what you are capable of consenting to.